Tea and Mood

I gathered up my herbs and such to make my tea today. It is cool, wet and dreary outside which I love, but bittersweet today because seems to echo my mood. I am going through some pain right now, the pain of a loss greater that I have ever felt before. This is grief. Almost every part of me wants to find a distraction, something to numb it or to pretend it is not there. I wave in and out of letting the avoidance take over and the necessity of allowing myself to walk through it. It is exhausting but I know for sure that God will bring me to a peace and warmth on the other side. So my tea today is chamomile, orange and ginger. Chamomile to calm my grief induced anxiety. Ginger to add spice and tame my nervous stomach. And sweet orange because well, it just makes me happy. The taste and smell always has. So as I sit and drink my tea staring at the drooping but vibrant wet leaves through the window, I take a moment to step outside my sorrow and be grateful. Is it gloomy where you are?