Change

 

Why is adjusting to change so difficult at times when we are naturally adaptable creatures? The process I am sure is intentional. We fight against the pain, tension, and simply being uncomfortable with the unknown. Being in a place of comfort is a beautiful thing, something to be forever grateful for each and every time we experience it. Significantly more difficult is being grateful for the process of change. Personally, I can feel like a fish out of water, gasping and struggling. At other times it manifests more in the form of becoming frozen, a deer in headlights knowing the car is headed right for me but I can’t seem to decide which way to go. I close my eyes hoping the darkness is more comforting than the harsh light of change, of what is being lost. That’s really what it is isn’t it. Change means something is being lost, something we held tightly onto. Something we felt we needed and we probably did for that season. But just like Winter turning to Spring, change can and usually does mean growth, new life and birth. Even in the face of the opposite, as Winter comes around, we may only see the loss of life around us and feel the cold to our very core. But remember that new growth is only lying dormant temporarily, and this cycle is necessary to fully experience the beauty of when that new life of Spring emerges.

 

Mission Statement

My 2016 mission statement:

We are all on a path. And each of us is a vessel. We all have our daily and life long struggles. Join me in learning to live outside survival mode, looking to the ways of our ancestors, our children and the earth to find balance, and to thrive.

Happy New Year everyone.

 

#fog #road #twolanes #trees #landscape #beauty #art #nature #selfhelp #musings #writing #explore #simpleliving #mindfulness

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Birthday

Today marks another year older for me. At this transitional point in my life this milestone reminds me of how much time I was immersed in the last chapter. I feel as if I am coming out of a cave. Everything is new and beautiful but the light is too bright and the wind is cold. I'm not yet properly dressed for the change of atmosphere and I don't have the necessary tools. I have to just put one foot in front of the other anyway, and start going on.

I look in the mirror and wonder how the young woman I remember, so quickly became the woman I see now. And there is some sadness for so much time that is now gone. It was not wasted, it was well spent in so many ways. I gave of myself in love, and working hard, I sacrificed, strived and learned... Not quite enough joy or adventure though. Maybe my priorities were skewed, or circumstances were difficult. I'm pretty sure my nose was just to the grindstone and I never let myself look up and just feel the warm sun. Joy and adventure I'm discovering, are things that you really have to let in or they just pass you by.

This coming year, year 37, this is one of my goals. Rearrange my priorities. I will still love, I will still serve and work hard. I hopefully will learn an awful lot too. But I will stop and smell those freakin roses, even if I think I'm in a hurry. Because well, I always think I'm in a hurry. Happy birthday to me.

 

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Adaptation to Change

Why is adjusting to change so difficult at times when we are naturally adaptable creatures? The process I am sure is intentional. We fight against the pain, tension, and simply being uncomfortable with the unknown. Being in a place of comfort is a beautiful thing, something to be forever grateful for each and every time we experience it. Significantly more difficult is being grateful for the process of change. Personally, I can feel like a fish out of water, gasping and struggling. At other times it manifests more in the form of becoming frozen, a deer in headlights knowing the car is headed right for me but I can’t seem to decide which way to go. I close my eyes hoping the darkness is more comforting than the harsh light of change, of what is being lost. That’s really what it is isn’t it. Change means something is being lost, something we held tightly onto. Something we felt we needed and we probably did for that season. But just like Winter turning to Spring, change can and usually does mean growth, new life and birth. Even in the face of the opposite, as Winter comes around, we may only see the loss of life around us and feel the cold to our very core. But remember that new growth is only lying dormant temporarily, and this cycle is necessary to fully experience the beauty of when that new life of Spring emerges.

 

#nature #beauty #fog #self help #inspiration #countryliving #sinpleliving #mindfulness

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Balancing Act

It's a bit of a balancing act isn't it. Half the time if not more I feel like I'm about to fall. But really what's the big deal if I do I suppose. Just get my ass back up and keep going! ;)

 

l#simpleliving #mindfulness #traintracks #writing #musings #art #beauty #selfhelp

 

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She is Still Here

And for the moment, she is still here. One of my favorite dilapidated old houses I pass on my way to everywhere. She's tiny and dark and looks so sad. But she is one of the most beautiful sights I see around here. The equipment on site tells me she might not be around much longer. The fog fits her mood so well, and mine too.

Nothing lasts forever no matter how tightly we try to hold on to it. And sometimes the tighter we hold the sooner it fades away. I always hold too tight. I always love just a little too much. Working on that. But in the mean time, maybe I can appreciate watching things fade away just as I do this sad foggy beautiful sight.

#fog #countrygirl #selfhelp #countryliving #simpleliving #mindfulness #musings #writing #beauty #art #nature

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Empath

I am an all in kinda person usually. I feel things strongly, I love deeply, I work harder than I should. In many ways I am glad this is who I am. It allows me to accomplish and experience things I might not otherwise. It allows me to risk more than some too. But many times, the world around me does not reciprocate. It can be very painful which I of course feel that deeply too. One of these times when I was hurt, I was told by someone who knows me best, "Meghan not everyone loves as much as you do." It was like it had not even occurred to me that that could be true. I expected others to think the way I do, to feel the way I do, and they don't of course. Over time I have been learning to accept this. To love them anyway for who they are, to put in the effort even if the world doesn't give it back to me. It's just who I am. And if there is pain? Well, then I will walk through it to the other side. We don't need to always avoid pain. Yes it sucks, it doesn't feel good. But there is growth, learning, and building of strength and skills within it. 

www.instagram.com/meghanaileen

‪#‎landscape‬ ‪#‎beauty‬ ‪#‎art‬ ‪#‎nature‬ ‪#‎newzealand‬ ‪#‎writing‬ ‪#‎musings‬‪#‎mindfulness‬ ‪#‎simpleliving‬

Judgement

Often we don't understand the way people around us are behaving. They don't respond the way we expect them too, they make choices that baffle us, we perceive their behaviors as crazy or hurtful. We ask what the heck is wrong with them?! 

Everyone has their own story, their own set of coping skills, and of course, limitations. There is likely a tough daily battle they are fighting just like you. They may not have been taught what you were taught by anyone ever. They might be in so much pain they can't function in the way you think they should. 

I need to be reminded of this every day. My judgement is not relevant. My analyzing or assumptions will probably not be accurate no matter how much I try to break it down or figure it out. 
I can only control my own actions, and my own reactions. I can forgive, I can love, I can also walk away if that is what is best. 
#rocks #mountains #fog #writing #musings#mindfulness #simpleliving #selfhelp #nature #beauty#art


Perspective Shift

Perspective is an amazing thing. One moment we can see a situation or person in a beautiful light with hope, admiration or maybe even expectations. Then in almost an instant at times it can shift. Something may be revealed we were not aware of, a new behavior we have never witnessed. Or maybe something within ourselves shifts. We reach a breaking point or limit we didn't know we had. 
From the outside this thing might look exactly the same to others but to you it will never be the same. 
Once I had something I thought was really wonderful enter my life like a whirlwind. Pushing me in positive way, bringing joy, helping reveal and awaken things about myself and my life that I needed to see. Then the perspective shifted, it was no longer what I thought it was or wanted it to be. It was as if a shadow had been cast over it with newly revealed information.

It's hard to not mourn it when this happens because it is a loss in a way. But what I am trying to teach myself, is that what it brought me before the perspective shifted doesn't have to be lost. The ways I felt and the things I learned were real and they can still be something I remember in that same light. Don't let the negative erase the positive. We are allowed to hold on to all the positive we can get in this life. Don't let anyone take those memories of the good stuff from you. They will always be yours. 

#beauty #art #nature #yellowstone#meghanaileen #landscape #writing#musings #selfhelp #simpleliving#mindfulness #livinghealthy



Passion + Vices

Passion for something and someone you love are amazing gifts, and I feel are an imperative part of life. It's easy to lose however as we get swept up by the everyday life: the necessities, the routine, the pulls from all directions. 
I am starting to realize that when I am unable to experience passion I start to feel a pull towards my vices to fill that space. Everyone has vices. The thing they go to when things seem off, when life is just a little too much at that moment. I don't like it at all it makes me feel weak which is not a place I like to fall into. 
Today however, I am choosing passion. I choose to put the effort required into the things and people for which I feel bring that passion to my life. That's the problem sometimes, it does take effort and of course risk to experience passion. Sometimes the vices seem like a better choice as they require no effort and provide some temporary relief. Passion however runs much deeper. Unfortunately it is rarer than I wish it was. But that of course is what makes it so incredible, and so special. And today I decide it's worth it. 

 


#passion #mudpit #mudpool #newzealand#travel #writing #selfhelp #musings#simpleliving #mindfulness #nature #art#beauty

Run

Running full on into the unknown with nothing more than a sense of adventure, faith and a desire for the simplest form of joy. I look to her to remind me daily that I am not in control anyway...so why not run.
‪#‎water‬ ‪#‎lake‬ ‪#‎simpleliving‬ ‪#‎mindfulness‬ ‪#‎selfhelp‬ ‪#‎writings‬ ‪#‎musings‬



Pushing to Contentment

I push through the seemingly endless cobwebs. Beyond them I'm sure there is a scene filled with entangled plants and fog thicker than I've ever seen. I will have no idea what's beyond it and I won't care. I'll be content with just the beauty right in front of me. I swear I will. 

www.Instagram.com/meghanaileen

‪#‎poetry‬ ‪#‎writing‬ ‪#‎fog‬ ‪#‎musings‬ ‪#‎simpleliving‬ ‪#‎mindfulness‬ ‪#‎countrylife‬‪#‎nature‬ ‪#‎beauty‬ ‪#‎landscape‬ ‪#‎art‬



Slowing Down

Driving down the road my 4 year old impatiently asks over and over how long til we get there. A twenty minute drive is an eternity in her world when all she wants is to be there having fun with her friends already and not strapped in a boring car. I try to explain in a typical parental fashion how we need to be grateful we even can travel by car and don't have to spend 6 hours walking there through the snow...up hill both ways of course. ;) I think some of it sinks in until 3 minutes have gone by and it starts again. Her age is of course a factor here but we still all do this as adults. Impatient and angry when we have to wait. We want what we want when we want it....which is always now. We live in a worked ruled by who can make things most convenient, fastest and easiest for us all. That way we can have the most leisure time and be the most productive and successful at the same time. Except sometimes the best things in life come from the reward of sweaty work or feeling through the tension and getting to the other side. #fog #road #twolanes#backroads #franklintn #tennessee #travel#explore #musings #trees #writing


See You Through

Sometimes you can just see enough color through the fog to keep you going....


Foraging

This is a bowl with things Fiona found foraging for fall and exploring around her nature preschool. She explores and collects constantly with so much passion. The bowl sits on our 1850s farm table reminding me of what life used to be like. The effort it took just to get through a day and have a meal. The work involved in just simply surviving. Today I think the work in surviving is much more emotional than it is physical. Constant noise bombarding us every day. So much to process. Take a moment to be quiet, to forage, or simply enjoy how easy it is to have a good meal. Tag someone you would like to have a meal with and make it happen.
 


Home Sweet Home

Home sweet home. I love mornings like this out here. The leaves are starting to fall off and soon I will be surrounded by the tall graceful stark trunks on all sides. While I love the colorful blanket of fall there is something about the starkness of winter that has a certain romance to it. What's your favorite season?


Tea and Mood

I gathered up my herbs and such to make my tea today. It is cool, wet and dreary outside which I love, but bittersweet today because seems to echo my mood. I am going through some pain right now, the pain of a loss greater that I have ever felt before. This is grief. Almost every part of me wants to find a distraction, something to numb it or to pretend it is not there. I wave in and out of letting the avoidance take over and the necessity of allowing myself to walk through it. It is exhausting but I know for sure that God will bring me to a peace and warmth on the other side. So my tea today is chamomile, orange and ginger. Chamomile to calm my grief induced anxiety. Ginger to add spice and tame my nervous stomach. And sweet orange because well, it just makes me happy. The taste and smell always has. So as I sit and drink my tea staring at the drooping but vibrant wet leaves through the window, I take a moment to step outside my sorrow and be grateful. Is it gloomy where you are?


Morning Fog

Here's to running out the door with my camera before even putting a bra on, getting chased down the street by an angry dog, and making friends with a cow before 9am. Good morning y'all!


 

Mourning

Months of transition, loss and numbness have come to a head. It manifests itself in the form of nausea, shortness of breath and almost uncontrollable crying. The constant characteristic of parenthood is the requirement to be unselfish at all times. Even when you are falling apart yourself. I let her see a little of it, I let her see me reach out to God for help. Then she will know that it is ok to be broken...and that we are not in control. 

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Keeping Perspective With Gratitude

Today I am grateful for those who made sacrifices for our country and our freedom and I pray for the families they leave behind. When my husband was on the road all the time the military families were what kept things in perspective for me. Spouses, sons and daughters...not knowing when or if they will come home. At least I knew when John was coming home. I knew he was not in immediate danger, and that I could say goodnight to him on the phone most nights.